There Is No War On Christmas You Fucking Idiot

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The next Precident (sic burn) of the United States has gone out in public and talked about being able to wish people Merry Christmas again. Well here’s a newsflash son: The ability to wish people Merry Christmas never went away because there isn’t a war on Christmas. It’s just made up bullshit from people who love being the victim.

Are you aware of how I know there isn’t a war on Christmas? It’s because I’m not a fucking idiot.

“Merry Christmas.”

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Holy shit.  How did I get away with it? What will people think???

There isn’t a more made up war in the world than the fake war on Christmas people who love Christmas and love being a dumb asshole like to pretend is happening.

Are you aware of how big an asshole you are if someone wishes you Happy Holidays and you correct them or call them out for not saying Merry Christmas?

You’re the biggest asshole and I hope Santa or your mom gives you a War on Christmas. That’s a move I just made up where Santa and/or your mom take a dump in your stocking and when you reach in it’s worse than coal. Can we get that listed on Urban Dictionary, someone who is better at things than me?

Just be glad people said something pleasant to you, because they could have easily stole your wallet and called you a worthless cocksucker and forced you to eat old dog shit on the west side of the driveway in your Grandma’s front yard next to the neighbor’s bushes, you ungrateful fuck. Thing about that next time you want to start an inquisition about something so trivial.

I’m not going to wish you Merry Christmas. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. It’s that I don’t like you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No I Don’t Have To

I’ve heard a lot of people and read a lot of posts from people saying tomorrow we have to go back and be one country and support the decision.

That’s stupid bullshit.

 

I don’t have to be happy and I don’t have to settle and you shouldn’t, either. Just because your friend is driving home drunk doesn’t mean you need to get in the car.Tomorrow the country is still going to be divided. Regardless of what happens, you’re going to see some stupid things in the next month as this settles down. But hopefully clear-headed America showed up and even though I don’t like her, Clinton’s a lot better than riding home drunk with your friend while they text their bro about all the pussy they grabbed.

Unless you’re into that sort of shit.  Then by all means, keep driving.