So Long, Stinktown

Giants lost, which means I lost my first series of the post season.

Poor Crawford.  Two errors that lead to runs. Denny Matthews said it best. “Sometimes, it’s just your year.” And some days you throw two baseballs into the stands/bullpen and cost your team the season.

I’ll offer good luck to the Cubs, but clearly they already have it, so instead of luck here’s a big middle finger because I hate you. Here’s hoping they play 14 more games. (And lose.)


Can You Feel It, Chicago?

It’s got to be lurking.

Can you feel it?  Does it make the hairs on your neck stand up? Is there an empty, anxious feeling in your stomach?

Do you feel helpless? Restless? Unsatisfied? Do you feel like your world is spinning out of control?

You had the lead. All you had to do was close it out. But then a hit here, a hit there. Pretty soon it feels like in the summer, after a week of rain when you sit outside and just can’t get the mosquitoes to leave you alone. A big hit and now you have a game four.

It’s the top of the 8th as I write this. Are you scared? Does your faith in this team of destiny waiver? If the Giants close you out tonight, how do you cope tomorrow?

It’s your year you said! We’re a team of of destiny. It’s going to happen! And Zobrist just made it interesting as I go to deadline.

But, has it been shaken?  Has your faith wobbled just a bit?  Did you get just a seed of doubt?  A tinge of concern? Because Toronto and Cleveland are more complete and frankly, just better teams than San Francisco.  Do you have the resilience?

Do you have a backup plan?

2016 MLB Playoffs: SF vs. CHI


This is a dream series.  As of deadline, it’s 0-0 in the sixth inning. Pitching is going to rule this series, which is funny because I compared bats above. I think this series has to go five games. Likely, San Francisco will win because it’s an even year and the closer the Cubs get to elimination the worse their heads will be. Like, I can’t wait to see what type of shit they do and what type of head cases they become.  And the fans? I can’t wait to see what the fans do. You thought it was bad with Bartman? This is a whole new level, because this year the fans had entitlement. They had a true winner.  They had the curse breaker on their side. Well eat shit, Cubs fans.  You’re going down some how.  I don’t know how for sure, but I’ve been waiting with delicious anticipation all season and I can’t wait to see if unfold.

Note: I hate the Cubs and Yankees.  Do something about it.

Second Note: By the way, I keep showing these fun little Excel charts and doing a completely unscientific method of guessing who will win. This is an example of the Cubs having an offensive advantage according to my phony bologna system, yet I’m picking the Giants. Same way about the Royals last season.  Computers couldn’t figure out how they won, because according to modeling they should have been about 12 games worse. But sometimes it’s your year, and this year is an even year and I hate the fucking Giants, too, so they will probably win the whole…fucking….thing, Jake Taylor style. Okay, bye.

MLB 2016 Playoff Preview – SF vs NYM



Here’s a hitting comparison:


I know there are some injuries above not accounted for, and some of the starters might change for this match up (pulled this from Baseball Reference), but, based on these numbers, and the fact it’s an even year, I gotta go with San Francisco.  I hate them, but they will win. I know New York has put in a gutsy performance lately through injuries, but i don’t really care about that.  They are getting beat and San Francisco will go fight the Cubs.

For posterity, it’s maybe gonna’ be Bumgarner vs. Syndergaard. What an epic match up. I’ve learned my lesson doubting Madison in the playoffs.  I hate that guy with a white hot passion and I may not brake if he was in front of my car, but god dammit I respect him.

If it’s anyone else starting for the Giants, I reserve the right to change my pick.

Plus a world with crazy horse fucker Hunter Pence is a world I want to live in. That guy makes tying shoes look like that greatest thing of all time. His intensity reminds me of Ultimate Warrior doing 88 lines of ultimate cocaine.