2016 MLB Playoffs: LAD vs. CHI


Can you imagine the pressure the Cubs would have had coming back to Chicago tied with the Giants? They were two errors from a guy who committed only 11 errors all season away from having a deciding game five.

This is a really tough series to predict, in my opinion. I think the Dodgers have under performed this year. I know they had the issues with Kershaw being injured. And during that time everyone stepped up. Puig had a really big issue (demotion) but he seems to be back – whether or not he’s playing to potential remains to be seen.

The Cubs on the other hand, are the Cubs. They have over 100 years of negativity and the expectations of a fan base they are trying to overcome that is probably higher than the Patriot’s undefeated bid and the 2004 Red Sox combined.

These teams played seven times this season, with Chicago taking the series advantage, 4-3. Games were competitive, including three shutouts (Two by LA). Despite having experience from a veteran standpoint, both teams are in somewhat uncharted territory playing in the NLCS.

It comes down to only a few things. Both teams rely on the big play. I’ve listened to probably 40 games for each team this year, and it’s been big home runs, top notch pitching and solid fielding that have kept them competitive. Not surprising, those are keys to every winning team. But in the playoffs, sequencing is huge. And both teams have the pitching to screw up sequencing. (What I mean is, you might get four batters in a row to go 2-4, but if they don’t get those hits in the same inning, you get shut out.) AND, both teams have relied on one to two big innings of sequencing all season.


Now Chicago scored a lot of runs this year, and I think the LAD pitchers can neutralize some of the Cubs’ power. But based on their season averages, the Dodgers rely on that second and third time through the order to really put up some production. Again, sequencing will be huge.

On paper it’s a pretty even series. But I give the edge to Chicago. I think managerial staff will have a huge play in this, too, and Madden has proven to be in a league of his own. I hate the Cubs. I hope the Dodgers win. I hope it goes seven games to make Cubs fans sweat. But I begrudgingly pick the Chicago Cubs to meet Cleveland in the World Series.


2016 MLB Playoffs: CLE vs. TOR


Cleveland and Toronto open in a just a few hours. Based on my completely bogus method above, which allowed me to go 4-2 predicting the winners thus far, I’m going to go with Cleveland as the winner.

Both teams have solid pitching, but I’m giving the edge on the bullpen to the Indians. They only played four times in 2016, and they split. Looking at the vs. stats is kind of pointless because one of those games was a 17 to 1 ass kicking with the Tribe taking the business end of that sodomizing.

Toronto does not have the patience that Cleveland has displayed. No one in the league had more walk off wins in 2016 than Cleveland, and no team pissed me off more this year than Cleveland. Last year, Toronto gave me that feeling all season, and once the Royals beat them, I knew they would win everything. I feel that way this year about this series. I just have a feeling that whoever comes out of here is going to win, and because they’ve had luck on their side, they’ve shown resilience and restraint all season, and their pitching has a slight edge, Cleveland will be the AL Champs in short order. In fact, I’ll be surprised if it takes them more than five games.

Ultimately, I just want more games like we’ve had. This has been an incredible post season all ready, and I can’t wait to see more drama, more clutch hits and more late inning heroics. I LOVE BASEBALL!!!! FUCK THE CUBS!!!!

Trump Makes Hitler Mistake


An example of a two front war from WWI


As a registered Republican who pretty much hates everything about the Republican party right now, it’s really easy for me to critique it. I’ve seen people compare Trump to Hitler a bunch on here, and what is actually scary about it actually not so much Trump, but the idea that he has somehow made it acceptable in some people’s minds that bigotry and racism and sexism is just part of the game. The truly scary part is that he may have opened the door for someone a little more subtle and polished to come through and make it a reality.

But I digress.  The really Hitler thing Trump just did was start a two front war. During WWII, Germany’s biggest mistake was engaging Russia. There was no need, and all it did was spread out his forces and in short order (relatively) the war was over.

This week Trump has basically 86’ed his own party. Not only has he invoked the ire or Democrats, but he is alienating his own party at an exponential pace. If history has taught us anything, his war will be over shortly.

2016 MLB Playoffs: SF vs. CHI


This is a dream series.  As of deadline, it’s 0-0 in the sixth inning. Pitching is going to rule this series, which is funny because I compared bats above. I think this series has to go five games. Likely, San Francisco will win because it’s an even year and the closer the Cubs get to elimination the worse their heads will be. Like, I can’t wait to see what type of shit they do and what type of head cases they become.  And the fans? I can’t wait to see what the fans do. You thought it was bad with Bartman? This is a whole new level, because this year the fans had entitlement. They had a true winner.  They had the curse breaker on their side. Well eat shit, Cubs fans.  You’re going down some how.  I don’t know how for sure, but I’ve been waiting with delicious anticipation all season and I can’t wait to see if unfold.

Note: I hate the Cubs and Yankees.  Do something about it.

Second Note: By the way, I keep showing these fun little Excel charts and doing a completely unscientific method of guessing who will win. This is an example of the Cubs having an offensive advantage according to my phony bologna system, yet I’m picking the Giants. Same way about the Royals last season.  Computers couldn’t figure out how they won, because according to modeling they should have been about 12 games worse. But sometimes it’s your year, and this year is an even year and I hate the fucking Giants, too, so they will probably win the whole…fucking….thing, Jake Taylor style. Okay, bye.

MLB Playoffs: TOR v. TEX


No surprise here, especially after seeing game one. I picked Toronto in four, I stand by that prediction, especially when the Texas ‘ace’ only goes 3.1 innings at home. Toronto, the more patient team with probably a little saltier pitching, will probably be the hardest out of the AL side of the tournament.

This is unfortunate because I’ve really become a fan of Adrian Beltre and his antics lately, but I guess they should just try harder and pitch better if they want to win.

As always, hoping Joseph Bats, Esq. throws a bat through a man in an effort to be the biggest cock of the walk.  Because he’s kind of a cock.

Is Trump Shaving Points?


Donald Trump and his butthole mouth have been on an epic failure tour this week, even by his standards, and it’s pretty obvious he’s shaving points. No need for foreplay, let’s cut right to the chase:

Each of these things is even par for the course of his campaign, but the fact they keep happening at all, at the clip they are, is a lot like a college kid tanking free throws, or a boxer ducking punches. Trump is clearly on the take.

No real candidate would hire the pieces of shit he’s hires to run his campaign. He cycles through incompetent campaign managers the way McDonalds cycles through your digestive track (rapidly, in case you didn’t catch my diarrhea pun).

We’ve seen this before. We saw it in Major League, when Rachel Phelps put together a cast of shitty players to get the team to move only to have them win. We saw it with Scooby Doo cartoons when the kids would screw everything up but somehow catch the guys in the end. And we saw it with The Simpsons when Lisa and Burns go into business and oh my god Trump is going to win this fucking election, isn’t he?

MLB 2016 Playoff Preview – BAL vs. TOR

MLB Bracket.JPG

Game One: Baltimore vs. Toronto

First thing is first, let’s look at the stats:


I’ll probably play around with that view above, but essentially, blue is Toronto and orange is Baltimore. Side by side comparison by position. The bottom Advantage area is which team had a majority of side by side leaders.

We can deduce from this that in 2016, Baltimore was actually the more powerful team, but Toronto was quite a bit more patient at the plate, hit for average, and had a better chance driving one into the gap when it matters.

From a starting pitcher perspective, both starters (Tillman, 16-6; Stroman, 9-10) have a couple post season starts and each have a win, but nothing to really write home about. If either one of them is on their game, they can be very hard to hit. I’d give a slight advantage to Stroman based on nothing more than my instincts.

So who’s going to win? I was at the greatest baseball game of all time – the 2014 KC vs. Oakland play-in game. And literally anything can happen. Both of these teams have taking a sip of toilet water in recent playoff years, and strange enough, both from my boys in KC. Statistically, the away team has a 6-2 record since the implementation of the play-in game.

I think Toronto is going to win. I think they jump Tillman early, and go to their own pen early and often to make sure they get to the next round. While Baltimore out-powered the starting 9 for Toronto this season, something magical happens in the playoffs in Canada, and I’m putting my (fake) money on Toronto.