What The Cubs Win Means To Me

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Photo Credit: CubsInsider.com

Editor’s Note: I hate the fucking Cubs.

In today’s world of hot takes, fast takes, quick takes, rapid takes, speed takes, hot corner takes, instant takes, can-of-corn takes, Subway Fresh Takes and pronto takes, sometimes it’s also a little nice to sit back and process something before reacting. It’s a lost art, but it’s something I had to do with this Cubs World Series victory. After a good long week in which we absolutely got our asses kicked as a country, regardless of party affiliation, I had the following ten conclusions. Continue reading “What The Cubs Win Means To Me”

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Guest Commentary: On The Long Fight Ahead

Guest Commentary by Ryan Niemann

This was supposed to be it. This was supposed to be the election that finally disassembled the Republican Party. This was supposed to be the election that saw all of the metaphorical chickens returning to their metaphorical roosts, rendering the Republican Party nothing more than its disparate and grossly cobbled together parts flailing on the ground at the sight of the first woman President following the first African American President. “This would be a reckoning for the Republican Party,” Very Smart People assured us, confident 50 years of Republicans embracing the worst impulses of the American Id were finally, gloriously, coming to an ignoble end. That the adults in the party would realize the error of their ways and reject the nihilism and anger which had come to be the Republican’s brand. That they would again become an integral part in our two-party system, ensuring the country would run as smoothly as it could.

Continue reading “Guest Commentary: On The Long Fight Ahead”

No I Don’t Have To

I’ve heard a lot of people and read a lot of posts from people saying tomorrow we have to go back and be one country and support the decision.

That’s stupid bullshit.

 

I don’t have to be happy and I don’t have to settle and you shouldn’t, either. Just because your friend is driving home drunk doesn’t mean you need to get in the car.Tomorrow the country is still going to be divided. Regardless of what happens, you’re going to see some stupid things in the next month as this settles down. But hopefully clear-headed America showed up and even though I don’t like her, Clinton’s a lot better than riding home drunk with your friend while they text their bro about all the pussy they grabbed.

Unless you’re into that sort of shit.  Then by all means, keep driving.

Trust Issues

king-ralph
Not a big fan of life imitating art.

King Ralph is a really good analogy for Trump. John Goodman plays a boorish lounge act, who becomes king because, basically, everyone else died in a freak photography accident. In real life, Trump could become president, well, basically in spite of a freak photography accident.

I bring this up because it’s time to make an endorsement, as a political site, and I’m not going to beat or grab around the bush. Continue reading “Trust Issues”

Where There’s Smoke You Can Choke To Death

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Hey baby, I like your manure spreader.

First, go read this article because it is really interesting.

Did you read it?  Did you get bored because it was so long?  Screw you, go finish it – it’s well written and fairly objective.

Okay now that you are finished reading it, here’s some opinion for you to react to.

Continue reading “Where There’s Smoke You Can Choke To Death”

How Trump Could Still Win

Donald Trump did it.  He did just enough bullshit artistry tonight to show he can focus, to show he can make a salient point.  To prove he can stay on topic. Of course, at the end he got a little catty.  And yeah, he argues like I do when I’m feeling petty. But here’s why he did exactly what he needed to win.

  1. There’s a huge percentage of fence republicans who just needed Trump to show up once to one of these things. He did just enough tonight to convince this contingent. I have no doubt of this.
    1. He came across as honest to people who believe his shit, even when he was flat out lying
    2. He was actually complimentary and honest about Clinton a few times, and even went so far as to not blame her for some of the problems while still admitting it needed fixed
    3. He was very subdued and succinct in the first 20-30 minutes
    4. He won or drew on several questions during the debate. Rational democrats and honest republicans will re-read those comments tomorrow and realize they are pretty hollow, but a lot of people won’t re-read, and it was enough to sway fence republicans
  2. Most republicans think Trump will allow Pence to run the country day-to-day (he said so himself three months ago) and so they really feel like they are voting for Pence.
  3. He said exactly the answers he needed to resonate with republican voters. He wasn’t debating Hillary.  He had a 60 minute advertisement for why he’ll be ‘okay’.
  4. Like it or not, more than any other time he provided clear delineation between him and Hillary
  5. Trump has been playing us the whole time. The guy is a shitty business man and a shitty person, but he’s a fucking Rembrandt at PR. He had this on full display tonight.  Even I was buying into some of his bullshit.Even when I knew it was bullshit, he cast enough doubt on Hillary and said just enough things that I started to waffle a little.And she really fucked up a couple questions, especially pay for play.

All he has to do is give enough republicans the seed of an idea that he can function as an adult for more than ten minutes at a time and assure them Pence and a republican congress will run the day to day. If he comes out of the gate swinging with this message, he could actually win.

Because democrats are closer to libertarians and because republicans are so black and white on issues like abortion, his words spoke to them tonight on a profound level. Do not underestimate the power of his PR machine. Expect a different tenor in the final days of the campaign.

And don’t underestimate the power old people who will probably die before whoever is elected finishes their term will have on this election. If disenchanted millennials fail to vote en mass; if enough of them choose anarchy over reason; if enough of them vote third party – you might see some serious shit on November 8th.