Hey. Butthead.


We’re all ginned up about this election and the shit choices we’ve been offered (read: picked). And why not? We’ve got a narcissistic liar with a closet full of skeletons on one side and a narcissistic liar with a closet full of skeletons on the other.

So what’s really important?  Is the president important?  Sort of. They can do some things. Recommend judges. Flex their muscles with executive decrees. Veto or threaten to veto bills. So it’s pretty important. But, really a president only gets about 20-25% of their big platform issues pushed through so while everyone’s worried about Trump accidentally launching nukes or groping our wives and daughters, and Hillary taking all our guns or opening up abortion super stores (thanks, Onion), in reality neither one is going to get a bunch of stuff pushed through. It just doesn’t work that way because we have checks and balance.

So is the Senate and the House important?  Sort of. They write the bills. They can cock block the president to some extent. They can get stuff done if they work together, but the distance between the aisle has never been greater. If one group gets majority and they share the same slants as the prez, we can see some serious shit, like when you hit 88 miles per hour – and it can be good or bad depending on which park bench you sleep. It’s probably more important than the president because a lot of what they put in place gets implemented. Pay attention to this, but you can vote them out again in short order if they screw something up. And a reasonable president can keep them in check.


What about local government? Is the state government important? Yeah it’s important. It’s probably more important than the president because the stuff they decide directly influences the success or decline of your state. For most states, they help set the tax rates, they affect how easy it is to open a business, like restaurants, hardware stores and porn shops for when you just need a good double sided dildo or a nice latex fist for Friday night. Wanna’ come over? I’m thinking around 7?

State legislature can make the quickest rules determining whether or not your state is going to grow this year, and between them and the city, determine what kind of tax breaks they are going to offer to attract new business to your region. They are the reason I couldn’t buy booze in Utah on vacation. They were the reason gays and lesbians couldn’t get married for years. They are the reason big new businesses get tax free land for years and they are also the ones who decided it is illegal to drive 88 miles per hour. How the fuck are we supposed to go back in time driving only 70 miles per hour? So yeah, I’d say the state officials are pretty important.

City government is even more important on the local level.  They can create additional taxes to build a new school or fix the clock tower. And who wouldn’t want that?


But what’s really important in the election? I’ve done a lot of research and according to something I thought up, I think in the end not being a fucking idiot is the most important thing. If we smarten up and actually research shit, we make smarter decisions. If we get out of our little shells and see how people live, and understand their issues and that most issues aren’t as black and white as they appear, we become better voters. Critical voters. If we understand that Republicans and Democrats aren’t enemies, maybe we can even become compassionate and work together. By not being a stupid asshole we can take the time to carefully consider how a lot of the issues aren’t really anything but a grandstand for presidential candidates, and maybe there’s bigger fish to fry. Yes, I think by not being a dipshit, we can do better.

Or keep it up, asshole. Maybe that’ll work, too.


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