Let’s all come back in several months and note how wrong I am.
Let’s all come back in several months and note how wrong I am.
I know this isn’t politics, but this is important. Also, don’t ask why I thought of this.
Eddie is just Basketball Blazing Saddles.
Whoopi Goldberg’s Eddie is an unlikely Cleavon Little’s Sheriff Bart-esque anti-hero. Both work in blue collar transportation and become the unlikely leader.
Frank Langella’s Wild Bill Burgess is the excellent Harvey Korman’s Heddy Lamar. That’s Hedley!
The Knicks franchise is Rock Ridge.
The Knicks players are the towns folks
Dwayne Schintzius’s Ivan Radovadovich is a very, very poor man’s Mongo, played by gambling Alex Karras.
Malik Sealy’s hateable Stacy Patton and Richard Jenkins’ Coach Zimmer are the equivilent but not equivilent to Gene Wilder’s fantastic Waco Kid.
Larry Johnson’s himself is the gang of rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”
Dennis Farina’s Coach Bailey is the masterful Slim Pickens’ Taggart. I love you Dennis Farina, but get your fucking shine box when it comes to choosing between you and Slim.
Coach Zimmer’s plan at the end of the game against the Hornets is essentially Sheriff Bart’s idea to build a fake town. Someone’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes.
“They said you were hung?”
“And they was right!”
Marv Albert calling the last play is essentially the townsfolk of Rock Ridge explaining the plan – they’ll destroy the fake Rock Ridge but they’ll think it’s the real Rock Ridge but we’ll know it’s the fake Rock Ridge.
Ivan taking the charge after the Hornets have one last chance is basically the Waco Kid shooting the dynamite.
The whole movie of Eddie is the farting campfire scene in Blazing Saddles.
Well, that’s the end of this post.
But maybe we should look at some of the stuff and tweak it. Just a thought.
Well, thanks to Mike Pence and every republican senator who received a generous donation from Betsy DeVos, that same Betsy DeVos is now the Secretary of Education.
This is stupid. She has no business being in charge of our nation’s education. But I don’t disagree with all of her ideas. I’ve come to realize my anger isn’t really with Betsy DeVos or even Mike Pence or Trump, but when it comes to education in America, the whole philosophy is off the mark for the 21st century and that is where my disdain lies.
The need for a Department of Education as we know it has sailed, in my opinion. Here’s my simple plan for unfucking our education system and getting America smart again. Yes I know that’s a very Trump thing to say but clearly we are spiraling towards a level of unheard of dumbfuckery. It’s not to late. Let’s get started.
That’s pretty much it. There needs to be some oversight on the funds and an eye on the general process. A budget for audits and third party fees needs to be determined ahead of time, and that’s what the government pays. Fair pay for job well done. This stuff happens all the time in the business world and it’s time to eliminate the bureaucracy and efficiently make changes to our education system.
So why give the money and the power to the states? That’s easy. What works for Baton Rouge won’t work for Defiance, Iowa. Contrary to popular theory, I have pretty strong feelings that most teachers care about their jobs and want to educate kids to the best of their ability. Who knows better what the kids in the classrooms need than the people in the classrooms. It’s well documented and inarguable at this point that people learn at different rates and with different styles. Teachers need the flexibility and the funding to adjust to the nuances of their classroom year to year. That doesn’t mean states shouldn’t implement a standardized test now and again. But that should only be a portion of the measure. This next section will get a ton of fucking heat from people but I’m right and they are wrong, so let’s take a look.
That’s it. At the local level, teachers will enjoy the autonomy to teach kids the way they need to learn, focusing more on true understanding concepts and how to learn than whether or not a third grader can memorize how to spell discombobulated. (FYI, I FUCKING NAILED THAT WITHOUT SPELLCHECKER!)
Are there going to be problems. Of course! There’s problems now. Will there be shitty teachers? Some! We have that now. Will there be misappropriations of fund? Truly! That’s why we’ll have to be diligent as we create the audit process. Will there by lessons learned? I hope so. That’s the point! But some other countries are doing some things right, and we should learn from them as we move forward to become brilliant again. And we need to stop selling ourselves short. There are already a ton of really smart people doing amazing things every day. But the dinosaur that is the Department of Ed is dead, and we don’t need a Jurassic Park on our hands. Keep the bones in the museum and let’s figure out a better way to do this.
UNION NOTE: I don’t care if the states bust ’em. But, under this new rule we would implement a league minimum of $35,000. Need more money to pay this exorbitant salary? Figure it out, states.
Let the hate parade begin.
The next Precident (sic burn) of the United States has gone out in public and talked about being able to wish people Merry Christmas again. Well here’s a newsflash son: The ability to wish people Merry Christmas never went away because there isn’t a war on Christmas. It’s just made up bullshit from people who love being the victim.
Are you aware of how I know there isn’t a war on Christmas? It’s because I’m not a fucking idiot.
Holy shit. How did I get away with it? What will people think???
There isn’t a more made up war in the world than the fake war on Christmas people who love Christmas and love being a dumb asshole like to pretend is happening.
Are you aware of how big an asshole you are if someone wishes you Happy Holidays and you correct them or call them out for not saying Merry Christmas?
You’re the biggest asshole and I hope Santa or your mom gives you a War on Christmas. That’s a move I just made up where Santa and/or your mom take a dump in your stocking and when you reach in it’s worse than coal. Can we get that listed on Urban Dictionary, someone who is better at things than me?
Just be glad people said something pleasant to you, because they could have easily stole your wallet and called you a worthless cocksucker and forced you to eat old dog shit on the west side of the driveway in your Grandma’s front yard next to the neighbor’s bushes, you ungrateful fuck. Thing about that next time you want to start an inquisition about something so trivial.
I’m not going to wish you Merry Christmas. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. It’s that I don’t like you.
I haven’t written much lately because I feel like we are living in a perpetual intro to a political thriller movie starring Clive Owen or Little Tom Cruise or Stath, or some fucking asshole hero here to save the day.
You know? Where it cuts to news stories and clippings of all the shit that leads up to some scenario requiring a real mother fucker to come in a save the day?
Yeah, still waiting on that. But hey, at least someone assassinated a Russian guy today. That won’t lead to more violence or anything.